I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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