What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
