i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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