I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
