New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
