You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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