Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
