if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize