May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
