Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
