she smelled like a LAN party
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
