i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
