i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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