I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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