ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
