I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
