why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
