I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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