I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
