I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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