Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
