apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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