Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
