You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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