you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm always down for nudity.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize