Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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