We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
