yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
