Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
