im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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