Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize