hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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