I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
