Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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