remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize