i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
