i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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