there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
