i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize