I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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