everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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