he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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