Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
