I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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