North Korea, Best Korea!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
