I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
