is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
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