I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
