KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
