1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
it's like heaven, but drunker
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
