did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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