We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
