I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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