well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There are leaves in my underwear?
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