The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
