definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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