i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
