me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
