Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
