Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
