it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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