Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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