I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
