Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
