Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
